I'm sorry, do you live here?

While Tom's OT (occupational therapist) was here, one of Tom's old friends stopped by since he was in the neighborhood.

Tom and Mike (the old friend) made small talk as the OT went about her business.

All went smoothly until Mike asked Tom and I how we planned on making our bathroom wheelchair accessible.

We started talking about several different options, from the most expensive (building on an addition) to the quick fixes (widening the door and making do with the other obstacles.

One option that we have considered is taking out the tub completely and tiling the bathroom shower, making it a 'roll-in'. Except I'd really like to keep my tub.

Mind you, I don't take baths often. (Gee, that sounded horrible.) I normally shower quickly and get outta there. But, I know I'd miss a tub if I didn't have one. And, I'd think Tom would enjoy a good soaking every now and again.

Then the OT starts sticking in her two cents.

"Oh, they don't recommend that he soak in water."

I'm kind of taken back.

Firstly, I don't recall asking her opinion. Secondly, what?!

"What about water therapy? Like in pools and hot tubs?" I ask her politely.

"Oh, they don't really do that much nowadays." She replies, and starts saying that a 'roll-in' is the best option for Tom and I.

I attempt to back track and discuss with Mike my concerns for a shower chair, if we were to settle for the quick fix of removing the shower doors and transferring Tom into the chair in the tub.

"They make these chairs now that slide into the tub, from outside the tub," she interjects.

"Right, I've seen them..." I attempt to say.

"No, these are different," she starts, and then explains exactly the chair I was thinking about.

I also attempt to explain that with Tom being so tall, and our bathroom being a smidge tiny, that the shower chair she was explaining might not work. (Not enough room to swing Tom's feet over the toilet to get into the tub... its hard to explain.)

Anyhow - basically she tells me it wouldn't be that hard, and it could be done.

She goes on about how she would 'design' the bathroom, and how Tom should be calling every Optimist Club, Shriner's and whatever other volunteer service like that to lay his sob story on to get the bathroom done for no cost.

Mind you, this is all great information, and I appreciate it.

But, every idea I have, she shoots down.

Not like,"Well, that's great, but I think ____ might work better for you." Or, "Have you considered _______ ?"

Its more of a, "No. That won't work." Or, "Thats not what you need to do."

She even mentioned to Mike that she's been an OT for 45 years and we've not been around situations like this for that long.

I'm thinking: 'Uh, therefore she's the expert?'

I just decide to shut up and let her talk. Mike could tell from the rolling of my eyes that I wasn't buying into all of her ideas.

Has she lived with a quad? Has she taken care of a quad 24/7 for 3 years?

Even more: Does she know Tom as well as I do? Does she know me as well as Tom does?

Where does she get off telling us what is better for our situation? Or that my ideas suck?!

RUDE!