Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Movie Night

Of course, sometimes when we're up so late at night, we struggle to find something worth watching on TV.

I happened to stumble upon the movie Rudy, though, and I was really excited! I haven't seen Rudy, yet have heard that it was a great movie.

I asked Tom if he had seen it. He hadn't either.

So, we settle in and start the movie.

All is going well. We're watching Rudy make his way into Notre Dame, and get beaten up by the football team. Touching stuff - right? Yada yada yada.

Then, suddenly, I see this large shadow run quickly across my bedroom floor.

Of course, I instantly panic.

I search the ground, fearfully, trying to figure out what in the world that shadow came from.

Then I see it.

The Spider Bigger Than GOD!


THIS IS NOT EVEN ZOOMED!!! (Okay, maybe a smidge - but not much, I swear!!)

I am seriously freaking out. (Thinking about it now is giving me the heeby jeebies!)

I jump from my chair to the bed to grab my cell phone (not to call 911, although I briefly thought about it). I try to take a picture of it with my phone for Tom to see. Of course, its so dark in the room that the flash won't hardly pierce the dark.

So, I jump back onto the bed and grab my real camera.

And, I take this photo.

And I show Tom.

And he says, "Well, its just a wolf spider. Kill it if you're afraid of it."

(can you sense the panic here?)

Uh?! Did he say, "just", like it wasn't a big deal? And he suggests I kill it?

Its SO FRICKIN' large that I'm sure when it gets smashed it will explode spider guts all over the bedroom and on the ceiling!

I work myself up to the point of sweating and almost giving myself a near panic attack. Seriously. (Stupid, I know.)

I told Tom if there were ever a time to start walking, this would be the time!

Or, if we could just control a muscle spasm enough to aim his foot at this monsterous creature, that would be ideal!

All I can think is that this spider is going to crawl into my mouth while I'm asleep and I'm going to choke to death on it!!

It must die. And, I must be the one to do it.

So, finally... I work up the courage to swat it with a fly swatter. It curls up into a ball and doesn't move.

I nudge it a little, to make sure its not playing possum (while Tom is telling me that spiders do not play possum). I scoop it up and put it in the trash can.

Phew! Choking hazard removed.

Disaster averted.

Life altering event over.

Peace and safety resumes in the world.

Whatever.

After I get myself slightly settled down, I look back at the TV just in time to see Rudy's team mates turning in their uniforms.

I missed the 'most moving' part of the frickin' movie!!

Damn it.

3 comments:

telakiniya said...

thats just gross

so I think I'm going to try to go out to cowherd this weekend or next tuesday, any interest?

Anonymous said...

Okay, THAT was the most HILARIOUS story I've read in a long time! But quite honestly, that's EXACTLY how I would have reacted. Exactly!!

:) Lisa

Vicki said...

i can totally relate. I didn't laugh. This happened to me just a couple of months ago! I ended up sucking it into the vacuum cleaner and putting the vacuum outside for Jeff to deal with when he got home from work. Then I got on the phone and told him he needed to come home Right. Now.